Weekly Air Balls

The hope was to make the Weekly Short Hops and Air Balls a regular weekly segment, but as it turns out I'm not that prolific. So here's the second installment, and there are no Short Hops, just Air Balls.

• It's an old item, but too good to pass up. Everybody, give it up for Lebron James, but not just the King, but his MOMMMA! That's right the illustrious Ms. Gloria James was in the news recently, for slapping the shit out of a valet at a Miami hotel. Apparently the kind valet pulled King MOMMMA's car up to the curb, and she wasn't ready to leave so she proceeded to stand and chit chat with her gal pal. After 30 minutes the kind valet asked someone else to keep an eye on the car. Gloria takes exception to said valet, proceeds to cuss him out and then give him the open hand upside his dome piece. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the richest valet in the world. I'm guessing Lebron is wishing right about now instead of just sleeping with his mom, Delonte West would have married her, so she became his problem.
• Speaking of the good behavior club, how about them Lakers! Finish the season losing 5 of their last 7, and then just to prove how good they are Kobe decided to gay slur a ref the other night, and then Phil Jackson decided that when asked whether or not he was coming back next year answered with "there's going to be a lockout". Between those two angels, that cost them a cool $175,000 and now the Lakers organization have promised to work with the GLAAD organization. The Lakers just aren't the lovable champions when things aren't going their way are they?
• During the opening week of the baseball season, a fan was beat up at a Giants/Dodgers baseball game and is now in a coma. That is obviously extremely awful, and needs no further elaboration. Except, this week, this d-bag columnist decided it would be a wonderful idea to write how it may actually be the man's fault for wearing the jersey of the opposing team to the stadium. I can't really express what a complete assclown this guy is, but this is the absolute epitome of a journalist just writing an article for attention right? I mean he can't honestly believe that angle he's portraying.
• Coming off a splendid Masters tournament, the golf story of the week, professional golfer Kevin Na, taking a 16 on a par four at the Texas Valero open. A 16? I saw the highlights and they were fantastic. I was actually on the treadmill when I looked up and saw Na in the woods. I thought he was taking a leak. He wasn't, turns out he was swinging and missing at his ball on several occasions. The beauty of the whole thing was after he actually got out of the timber, he hit his approach a little long, played a really nice up and down, and then sunk a knee knocker of a putt to finish with a glorious 16. Thank you Kevin Na, because when I inevitably take a 10 this summer on any number of holes, I will remember you. I'm sure he will be also be thinking of me when he cashes in his millions of dollars this summer.

NBA Playoffs start tomorrow and honestly the first round matchups aren't that compelling. The only upset will be the Mavs losing to the Blazers. Fast forward to the middle of June (the playoffs are grotesquely long) when the upstart OKC Thunder knock off the equally upstart Chicago Bulls. Should be a fun playoffs, buckle up. The good news is they only play every three days, so don't worry, plenty of time to get involved.