And so it begins....

Tomorrow I become a 'soccer dad', as my 4 year old son starts his first organized team sport. For the last 10 years, I've always been on the opposite side of the whistle as I've coached girls youth basketball. In that time, I've run the gamut of experiences with parents both good and bad. Everyone has probably heard or seen some horror story about an overbearing, out of control, or just plain crazy parent shouting, cussing, and generally acting a fool at some youth sporting event. I've certainly seen it, and had to talk to some of those parents in my time as a coach. I would say that I think the majority of the time the parents lose control because they really just have so much passion for their kid, and the desire to want them to do well. That certainly doesn't excuse the boorish behavior, but most of the time I think the intention is pure, but the action is misguided.

Now, I certainly don't think at 4 year old soccer I'll be chasing referees or spitting on little kids, but it has got me to thinking about what the future holds. This will be the first time in my life that I will be so closely involved with a sport, without being a player or coach. I have the internal debate occasionally on whether or not I'll ever coach either my son or my daughter, and if I do, how will I approach that? I was extremely fortunate that growing up my dad was one of my little league coaches and it was the perfect experience. He was neither too hard, or too easy on me, and it was great learning the game from him, exactly the type of experience I would want to provide to my kids if I'm fortunate to coach them. For now though, I get to sit back and watch my little boy starting his journey into athletics. We went out and bought the soccer ball, and the shin guards, and I already drive a mini-van, so I say let's get this soccer party started.

Weekly Air Balls

The hope was to make the Weekly Short Hops and Air Balls a regular weekly segment, but as it turns out I'm not that prolific. So here's the second installment, and there are no Short Hops, just Air Balls.

• It's an old item, but too good to pass up. Everybody, give it up for Lebron James, but not just the King, but his MOMMMA! That's right the illustrious Ms. Gloria James was in the news recently, for slapping the shit out of a valet at a Miami hotel. Apparently the kind valet pulled King MOMMMA's car up to the curb, and she wasn't ready to leave so she proceeded to stand and chit chat with her gal pal. After 30 minutes the kind valet asked someone else to keep an eye on the car. Gloria takes exception to said valet, proceeds to cuss him out and then give him the open hand upside his dome piece. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the richest valet in the world. I'm guessing Lebron is wishing right about now instead of just sleeping with his mom, Delonte West would have married her, so she became his problem.
• Speaking of the good behavior club, how about them Lakers! Finish the season losing 5 of their last 7, and then just to prove how good they are Kobe decided to gay slur a ref the other night, and then Phil Jackson decided that when asked whether or not he was coming back next year answered with "there's going to be a lockout". Between those two angels, that cost them a cool $175,000 and now the Lakers organization have promised to work with the GLAAD organization. The Lakers just aren't the lovable champions when things aren't going their way are they?
• During the opening week of the baseball season, a fan was beat up at a Giants/Dodgers baseball game and is now in a coma. That is obviously extremely awful, and needs no further elaboration. Except, this week, this d-bag columnist decided it would be a wonderful idea to write how it may actually be the man's fault for wearing the jersey of the opposing team to the stadium. I can't really express what a complete assclown this guy is, but this is the absolute epitome of a journalist just writing an article for attention right? I mean he can't honestly believe that angle he's portraying.
• Coming off a splendid Masters tournament, the golf story of the week, professional golfer Kevin Na, taking a 16 on a par four at the Texas Valero open. A 16? I saw the highlights and they were fantastic. I was actually on the treadmill when I looked up and saw Na in the woods. I thought he was taking a leak. He wasn't, turns out he was swinging and missing at his ball on several occasions. The beauty of the whole thing was after he actually got out of the timber, he hit his approach a little long, played a really nice up and down, and then sunk a knee knocker of a putt to finish with a glorious 16. Thank you Kevin Na, because when I inevitably take a 10 this summer on any number of holes, I will remember you. I'm sure he will be also be thinking of me when he cashes in his millions of dollars this summer.

NBA Playoffs start tomorrow and honestly the first round matchups aren't that compelling. The only upset will be the Mavs losing to the Blazers. Fast forward to the middle of June (the playoffs are grotesquely long) when the upstart OKC Thunder knock off the equally upstart Chicago Bulls. Should be a fun playoffs, buckle up. The good news is they only play every three days, so don't worry, plenty of time to get involved.

The New Master

Something called Charl Schwartzel (or as I affectionately refer to him, Charles Schwab)  is the 2011 Masters Champion, winning what quite possibly might be the most exciting golf tournament ever played. Coming down the home stretch on Sunday afternoon, at one point there were 9 golfers within two shots of the lead, on the back nine. That's unprecedented, and quite frankly, nuts. Here are some of the highlights, and lowlights according to me from what truly was a masterful tournament.

• I don't know who the hell Schwartzel is, or where he came from, but the dude has some giant stones. Birdieing the last four holes at Augusta National with a packed leaderboard was insane. Apparently he's a protege of Ernie Els, and I have no idea what that exactly means, but the Big Smooth taught him well. 2010 was a nuts year for guys winning majors who have never even been relevant prior to their win (Mickelson was the exception of course) and it looks like with 'ol Charlie Schwab winning the first major of 2011 that trend will continue.

• I can only feel so bad for Rory McIlroy. The kid is uber talented and I fully expect him to win a few majors in his career, unless he turns into Sergio Garcia. He's only 21 with a ton of talent, but man, when he gacked he definitely did it in style. That was not the wheels coming off, that was the car blowing up. At about 1:00 this afternoon he was probably thinking about all the red headed Irish babes he was going to be pulling with his new green jacket , and 3 hours later he had to be thinking how many of those babes would have shot better than 80 in the final round of the Masters.

• There is going to be a lot of talk about how Tiger is back, he's not. He had a great round today and made an exciting charge, but remember, he finished 4th in this same tournament last year, and went on to do squat since. Augusta National, more than any other course I've ever seen is crazy for how the past champions always play well there. I mean Fred Couples, who can barely even walk four rounds was in contention as late as Saturday. Angel Cabrera who looks like a garbage man, and has been playing like one for almost 2 years damn near won the tournament today. So, Tiger contending was not surprising at all, but believe me, he's a long way from being back for one reason and one reason only, he can't putt. Plain and simple. He had 33 putts on Saturday! Turn that number into the normal 26-28 putts, and you throw in the missed eagle on Sunday at 15, and Tiger should have won the tournament by 4 strokes easy. Until he figures out the flat stick he'll continue to finish in the top ten on pure ball striking, but until that point I don't see him winning. The only major where he'll be able to pull off such shoddy putting is the British Open, he'll be lucky to make the cut at the U.S. Open putting that way.

• The announcers mentioned it a couple of times, but I do think it's true, nobody is scared of Tiger anymore, and they shouldn't be. I think Charlie Schwab aside, this tournament was huge for several players. Adam Scott, Jason Day, Luke Donald, these guys are coming away from the weekend knowing they can win a major now.

• Speaking of Donald, I'm no fashionista, but what in the blue hell was he wearing Saturday? It might be the only time I was actually grateful I didn't own a hi-def television. On the top half he looked like Pepto Bismol, and the bottom half he looked like what happens if you don't take Pepto Bismol. I know these European guys like to be eccentric, but give me a break.

All in all it was a fantastic tournament, and I enjoyed the heck out of it.

Finally, this has nothing to do with this Masters, but I do feel the need to write about it. This past week a friend of mine from high school and college, Chad Wells, was killed tragically in a car accident. Chad and I had not talked in years, but it was still a devastating blow, and my thoughts and prayers go out to all of those who were blessed enough to get to know Chad. I can't pinpoint exactly when Chad and I became friends, or when we lost touch, but I can tell you in the time in between he was a fantastic friend. The best compliment I can give anyone is they are genuine, and that was Chad perfectly. He never tried to be anything he wasn't, and he was always true to himself and his spirit. For me, he was also a musical guru who turned me on to so many bands that I still listen to even today. We spent a ton of time in both high school and college just talking about music, and he was constantly giving me something new to listen to. More than anything else though, I'll remember how incredibly funny he was. He wasn't cracking jokes all the time, but when he did, his timing for the best jokes was just incredible. I'll fondly remember all the times when we were up to no good, but really not doing any harm and just having so much fun doing it. He was always incredibly loyal, and would do anything for you, he was a true friend and I'll miss him.

Ncaa championship recap

Not much to say, it was an ugly game, but I don't know why people are acting like it's such a travesty. Awful basketball games happen every night during the college basketball season, last night just happened on the biggest stage. Just because it was the championship game doesn't mean that the basketball is going to be the best game of the year. I mean nobody can honestly claim that Butler or UConn were the two best teams in the country, they were just the hottest over the last three weeks. They were great games throughout the tournament, but ultimately the 2011 tourney will not go down in the annals as one of history's best.

Also, I put the odds at 5-1 that UConn will have to abandon the title in five years anyway when it's discovered what an absolute cheat Jim Calhoun is.

The Ultimate Sports Sin

Sports are full of rules, baseball in particular has so many written and unwritten rules they are are impossible to keep track of. In fact, just this week in a Spring Training game, an Orioles batter, who was struggling to make the team swung at a 3-0 pitch in a game where his team was clearly in control. Because this is one of baseball's idiosyncratic rules, it not only infuriated the opposing manager, HIS own manager was ticked off about it. So, just like every other aspect of sports, fans have rules too, and I just broke the cardinal rule, and committed the ultimate sports sin.

I'm from Iowa, so considering that we don't have any major professional sports franchises you are able to select whichever teams you choose. For me, I have always been loyal to the following in this order: everything Iowa Hawkeyes, Pittsburgh Steelers, North Carolina basketball, Kansas City Royals, and the Chicago Bulls. For most of my pre-teen years baseball was my favorite sport, and I loved the Kansas City Royals, especially George Brett. My parents took me to a Monday Night  Baseball game of the Royals vs. Yankees back when ABC was still broadcasting prime time baseball in the summer. As I grew older my love for baseball started to wane and basketball became my favorite sport, but when I paid attention to baseball, it was still always the Royals first. However, as of the opening pitch of the 2011 season, my allegiances no longer lie with the Royals. As of right now, when asked what my favorite baseball team is, the answer is, the Minnesota Twins.

I came to this decision for a few different reasons:

• The Royals have not had a playoff appearance since 1985, the year I attended Monday Night Baseball, and they won the World Series. Now, that's the most egregious of all of my reasons, because that's just straight hopping off the bandwagon. Part of being a sports fan, is being a fan regardless of the number that shows up in the wins column. That's not the most important of my reasons though.
• The Royals have not demonstrated a commitment to baseball in 15 years. This season the payroll is $36 million for the entire team. Alex Rodriguez will make $32 million this season all by himself. I'm not looking for the Royals to spend $100 million a year, but would it kill them to spend $65 million?
• The Twins are an easy team to root for. Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Michael Cuddyer, Jason Kubel, Joe Nathan, these are all good guys, who seem to really respect and enjoy the game. Most of the entire squad is pretty blue collar and play the game hard.
• The biggest reason of all is, I've lived in Minnesota now for 12 years, and with two small children, I would like them to be able to connect to a local team. Because of that, it HAS to be the Twins. I'll never compromise on my love for the Iowa Hawkeyes and Pittsburgh Steelers, and I hate, hate, hate the Minnesota Vikings and Minnesota Golder Gophers. The Timberwolves are kind of the Royals of the NBA, so the Twins it is. Now, with the new stadium I want to be able to take the family down to the 'ol ballpark, and have a genuine rooting interest in the local 9. Because of that, I'm now a full on Minnesota Twins fan.

Now, I did not come to this decision lightly, and quite frankly I feel a little sleazy abandoning my once favorite team. If nothing else I have almost always remained very loyal to my favorite teams (I did have a weird flirtation with Florida State football in 1993, but I think that was a college thing, you know experimenting and all) but now I must face the realization that I'm a sports traitor, and that is the biggest sports sin a fan can commit. Like all sinners, I must accept my shortcomings, and seek redemption in the arms of Twins fans. I suppose I will always a little nostalgic place in my heart for my first baseball love, but it's now time to move on.

And don't think I don't realize as I've made this change the Kansas City Royals are 2-1, and the Twins are 0-2. I can only hope I haven't cursed my new favorite baseball team.